Update

 Oh my, its been a long time since I wrote on here.  2020 has been such a struggle, it had even prevented me from writing for a while.  A key stealer of my writing has been stress/anxiety, which I know has been the same for a lot of people.   I hope all of you are healthy and finding happiness in life despite everything.  

Update on my works in progress:

 I have been making a lot of forward progress on Story 20 over the last month or so.  I am re-reading it so I can tidy up the end.  It is currently 208,000 words long.  My editors are going to take a look at it and figure out the best thing to do.  I want to keep it one story, but realistically, that's kind of crazy.  So we shall see.  This book still needs a title and cover art, but I'm not all that concerned about either of those things with this book, especially if it stays one book. 

I am still waiting for my latest edited manuscript, but I know it will arrive eventually.  I do have a title for this book, but not a cover.  I had an idea, but I can't seem to make it work the way I want to, so I keep hoping something else will come to mind.  Or I figure out how to do my idea.  I've still have some time though since once I get the manuscript back, I have to attend to their critiques and the oopsies that I made, and then re-read it at least one more time before I will send it to copyright.  

My friend gave me back my third person story (Story 15) and said she loved it and had no problems with the way it was written, minus the usual grammar problems I struggle with.  So I will continue to work on that one, once I have the opportunity.  

I have the second book for Rise of Ansea next to my bed.  It too is nearly complete, just needs a few more details.

 Story 17 is patiently waiting for me to go over the edits and input from two people who took a look at it for me.  I have cover art for this book almost done.  So I just have to keep writing to figure out if that book is going to be extended or if its going to be two books.  (This is a book that I was almost done with when a new person decided to join the story and now it's not almost done.)  I don't know how much more this new person is going to add to the story.  Once I can invest the time to figure that out, then I can decide on a title and that will be almost done, again.

Never a dull moment here, especially not in my head/writer's world.  Not gonna lie, I've missed all this chaos.  The other chaos, where I am just staring at my stories and shaking my head because I'm too full of other negative crap that I can't do anything about, is horrible.  

July 13, 2020

I have finished my re-read of a WIP (Work In Progress) that I printed off. It (Story 20) is my longest story thus far, and I very much enjoyed it until I got to the last thirty or so pages. I think it's safe to that it was a brainstorm and not well thought out writing. I am a little frustrated with how horribly it read. However, It has a lot of potential so I'm not sad, I just couldn't get over that it did not flow properly. So my longest story thus far is about to get longer. Might be a problem soon since I never saw this story as more than one book. Guess I'll just have to see what happens. Now I have to decide if I should let it sit in my mind for a bit or jump right in and start tinkering with it. Follow the voices, I know - I don't really have a lot of choice in the matter.

I am also expecting to be getting another of my manuscripts for Story 10 back - with edits - shortly. That will be two, leaving only one more still being edited. Once I get the third one, I can fix that story and send to Copyright... I hope!

Planning on giving my attempt at a third-person book to a friend as a beta read (it's not finished, so I am grateful they agreed to take a look) to make sure it doesn't suck... or find out it does and stop trying to finish that one.

I've awakened the last several mornings hearing the whispers of other stories that are WIPs (Story 25, 26, 19, and 3), but my heart was so obsessed with Story 20 that I haven't been able to even open another story. Anyways, there's my update for my writer's world. Hope you're all safe and having fun! 😊

Page 99: "The Shadow Dragon: Orbs of Fire"

"Open the book to page ninety-nine and read, and the quality of the whole will be revealed to you." --Ford Madox Ford

Page 99 of the paperback version of "The Shadow Dragon: Orbs of Fire":  

 “Put me down!” I snarled at him.

   He was done talking to me, and I began hitting my fists against his back.  He carried me in the house, as though I wasn’t struggling to get free.  He really hadn’t done this in a long time.  I think I was thirteen the last time this had happened.

   I knew at this point that my struggle was just wasted energy, but I had hoped that, being older, I could swing my weight and get away, but I couldn’t.  I stopped struggling, and decided I would just climb out of the window after he put me in my bed and left.  However, he did not take me to my room.  He was headed up the stairs.

   “Everything okay?” my father called after us.

   Alex didn’t say anything to my father.  He didn’t say anything until he dropped me on his bed.  I sat up, and was contemplating making a break for the door.

   “You won’t make it,” he informed me.  “You think I don’t know you better than that.”

   I scowled at him, thinking maybe I would try to prove him wrong, even though I knew he was right. He would have me in his arms before my feet ever hit the ground.

   I continued to glare at him while he just stared at me with his kind eyes.

   “Now, you might as well lay down and get some sleep.”

   I flopped down onto my side with my back to him.  I felt a blanket fall across my body, warming me instantly - I had forgotten I was cold.  The 

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warmth of the blanket felt good, and slowly my anger drained out of me.

   “Thank you, for the blanket,” I whispered.

   The bed shifted a little as he laid on the bed. I didn’t have to look to know that he was staring up at the ceiling. This was how we always ended up. Him laying a short distance away from me, waiting for me to calm down so he could explain the error of my ways or describe a solution to my problem.

   “Thank you,” he softly said.

   “For what?” I asked as I rolled over so I could see him.

 “Rest,” he whispered, gazing at me. “We’ll start training tomorrow.”

   I didn’t want to close my eyes. I was suddenly worried that he was going to be gone in the morning.

   “I will train you,” he assured me. “Rest.”

   My eyes closed against my will and I relaxed, knowing he wasn’t going to leave tomorrow.

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Here's the link to Chapter One.

Or if you want to read the book here's the links to where it is sold:
Amazon
Apple(iBooks)
Barnes&Nobles
Rakuten Kobo
Smashwords

Page 99 Test: Heart of the Emperor

"Open the book to page ninety-nine and read, and the quality of the whole will be revealed to you." --Ford Madox Ford

Here is page 99 from the paperback of "Heart of the Emperor":

   “Was all of this his idea?”

   “I am quite cerrtain that you being stabbed was not what he forresaw.”

   “Were you supposed to kidnap me?”

   “No.”

   “But you did. You cut me open to save me and you’re hoping to what? Use me to…?!”

   “No.”

   “Take me back to my cell!”

   “It is not a cell,” he irritably replied. “It is yourr home.”

   “I can’t do this! I can’t...”

   He wrapped his arms around me as my voice was swallowed in my misery.  “It is okay,” he assured me in “whispered words as I pounded upon his chest until all I had left was tears.

   I leaned my head against his chest, wishing for the desolation to disappear. His arms tightened, as though he wanted to comfort me. I continued to cry in his embrace, not understanding anything. His simple words that were filled with confidence caused my anger to completely dissipate, leaving me to be consumed with how lost I felt by being here. The Commander scooped me up as my body began to crumble with fatigue.

   “I will take you back to yourr rroom,” he stated in gentle tones.

   I did not look up at him until he set me down on my bed. “I’m sorry, that I…”

   “Do not be sorry,” he interrupted with compassionate tones. “I must go, but I will be back to brring you to dinnerr.”

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   I nodded.

   “Is therre anything I can do forr you?”

   I shook my head.

   “Rrest then.”

   I laid my head down on the bed, closing my eyes as the door closed.

100

That was the end of the chapter so it seemed silly not to give you the last few lines.  Here's the link to Chapter One

And if you'd like to buy the book here are the links where you can find it:

Amazon
Apple(iBooks)
Barnes&Nobles
Rakuten Kobo
Smashwords

Page 99 Test: "Solace: Lost"

"Open the book to page ninety-nine and read, and the quality of the whole will be revealed to you." --Ford Madox Ford


I went back and forth as to whether or not to post the sequel books page 99, but I decided that if I was the reader this would intrigue me.  So, here is the excerpt from page 99 and 100 of the paperback version of "Solace: Lost":

I opened my eyes, but I couldn’t make out the details of anything.  I summoned the strength to sit up as I tried to sift through what had happened.

   “No, no,” a female voice said in a familiar language that I hadn’t heard in a long time as she attempted to force my body to lie down on the…soft…?

   I tried to stay calm, telling myself that I must be dreaming.  The hibernation chamber was not this…fluffy. Terror of the grey lush ground gripped my mind, and I tried to get up again. The woman continued to try to keep me down, but I knocked her arms away from me. As I began sitting up, my mind started spinning, and I put my hand to my head as though that would help.

   “Marsel, go get your father,” the woman calmly said, as though I hadn’t knocked her away from me.

   “And what about the stranger?”

   “I believe your sister is showing him around.  Please hurry.”

   The woman began to push me back down onto the soft bed, and I quickly shoved her away from me.  Once I was free of the woman, I stood up and fell to the hard ground.  I scrambled to get up, but each time I attempted to stand up I fell back down.

99

   “It’s okay. We’re just trying to help you,” said the calm female voice.

   I shook my head, and forced myself into a standing position. She didn’t sound like she wanted to help, she sounded annoyed with me.

   I immediately thought of the mind game that Rekusa had played on me before, and I growled in warning.  I had no idea if this was reality or not.  The fear of being attacked by my memories gave me enough strength to stumble forward. I could see a bright blur that I hoped was the exit, and struggled to get myself there.

   “What do you need?” Torrel asked a moment later from the other side of the room.  I turned towards him and fell sideways to the floor.  “Karissa,” he said with concern, and I heard him move towards me.  I fumbled for my blades, but they were missing.

   “Karissa,” Torrel said as though he were nearing a frightened creature.

   I focused on Torrel, trying to calm my panic. I couldn’t see him clearly, and worried that this wasn’t reality.

   “Karissa,” Torrel said.  He crouched in front of me and I focused on his blurry face.  “You’re in good hands.  Stazta is the best healer in the galaxy.”

   Stazta. That was Torrel’s wife. That meant Jack had convinced Torrel to come home, maybe this is reality. I guess his family did survive, but what was their reaction to me.  Stazta didn’t seem bitter towards me. Although, if she was a healer, then she would be helping me because that was what she did.

100

Here are the links to purchase "Solace: Lost":

Amazon

Apple(iBooks)

Barnes&Nobles

Kobo

Smashwords

Page 99: "Solace"

"Open the book to page ninety-nine and read, and the quality of the whole will be revealed to you." --Ford Madox Ford


Below is page 99 from the paperback, of "Solace: Uncharted Territory":

   “Come on, Karissa!”

   He called me by my name?  Ahg!  It didn’t matter come on, RUN!!

   I felt my resolve to run slipping, and I couldn’t find the energy to go any faster.  The fog was amazing, the way it moved fluidly above us.

   Jack/Creature reached out to grab me, but I instinctively dodged his touch.  I stumbled and fell forward, my hand hitting the ground.  I felt something wrapping around my wrist and flashes of Sarsa filled my mind.  I automatically reached for my knife which, of course, wasn’t there. I watched my hand disappear into the ground as it began sliding up my arm, pulling me deeper into it.

   I knew I should have been freaking out and trying to get away, but my mind felt… blank.

   I heard Jack/Creature yelling as I saw his boots in my line of sight, his boots that were on top of the ground.  That was how he was running faster?  But how was he staying…

  As he effortlessly picked me up off the ground, I freaked out.  I was furious that he was touching me.  I got myself free of him and started trying to run again.  He attempted to weave in and out of the trees, but I was having a lot of trouble getting one foot in front of the other. The chain kept my body in a forward motion, but I began to feel awful that I was slowing us down.

As I heard the screeching sound, I apologetically looked at Jack/Creature. He instantly stopped glaring at me with frustration, and concern swallowed his eyes.  He yanked the chain and I flew

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into him. He quickly threw me over his shoulder, holding tightly. He ran swiftly as though he didn’t realize I was trying to get away from him.

   As soon as he was in our shelter, he dropped me on the floor and grabbed the cable. He tightened the slack and I immediately ran over to him and helped him get the wall up. The screeching was getting louder.

   “Do you have it?” he asked, demanding an answer.

   “Yes!” I growled. This was not my fault.

   I watched as he tied the cables to the inside of the tree again. The thumping sound came loud and determined. The moment he was done tying the knots, he grabbed the cable I was holding. We pulled it tight, and he tied it securely. The next instant we both collapsed to the floor, panting.

   “Are you alright?” he asked.

   “Why do you always ask me that?!” I snarled.”

   “Sorry, it’s habit.”

   “What does that mean?” I said in a forced calm, glaring at him.

   “It means my mother raised me to protect women, not hurt them,” he shouted.

   “That didn’t matter earlier when you allowed the Tirrapps to board my ship,” I growled.

   “Well at that moment you were just an alien that I wanted dead,” he clarified. “And now… we need each other, if we want to survive.”

    “I don’t need…”

100

I guess I'm not always good at following the rules, since I gave you page 100 as well.   Here's the link to chapter one if you haven't read it already:  Chapter One

Or if you'd just like to jump into the story, here are the links to the e-stores that sell it:
Amazon
Apple(iBooks)
Barnes&Nobles
Kobo
Smashwords

Page 99

"Open the book to page ninety-nine and read, and the quality of the whole will be revealed to you." --Ford Madox Ford

Ford Madox Ford was an English novelist, poet, critic and editor whose journals The English Review and The Transatlantic Reviewwere instrumental in the development of early 20th-century English literature.


I'm always trying to figure out a passage from my books to post.  I  open a book thinking I'll post my favorite part (which is a failed endeavor because each book as many favorite parts) and I end up reading more than I meant to with nothing to post.  I'm not saying I agree with Ford, but I figured I might as well post page 99 because it gives a glimpse that you cannot get from the blurb on the back.  So for the next few weeks, starting tomorrow, I will be posting page 99 from each of my books.  I hope you enjoy!  

An attempt at characters from "Heart of the Emperor"

So here is a picture of two of the characters from "Heart of the Emperor".  This is one of those parts that I could and still can see clearly.  Of course I didn't do justice to it, especially to Tiberius, but I think Matix is beautiful.   And don't forget, I am drawing just for fun, just trying doing the best I can to capture the people in my books.  😊

Stay safe and be creative!!  

My attempt at character drawing "Solace"

I've been having a harder time than usual staying focused, so when it gets over whelming, I've been drawing.  As you can see this is not my forte, however, I gave it my best shot.

So here's my attempt at drawing Karissa.   It's not perfect (obviously), but it was fun - and challenging - to attempt.  I am limited on art supplies so I worked with what I had.   Just know that I am really struggling with drawing the men from my stories, more so than the woman (not that they are perfect).  Part of the reason I get so frustrated is because I have a picture of the lead men of my stories in my head as I'm writing, and I cannot reproduce it onto the paper.  Whereas with the lead women, they are a little less defined image in my mind, and I think it's because I see the story from their eyes, so I'm not looking at them often enough and this allows me to be less irritated with the final product.

And here's one I did of Jack and Karissa.  I only outlined Karissa's skin in this one so that her face wouldn't get lost in the color of her skin.  I went back and forth on whether or not to color her skin, but then I messed up her mouth while I was inking it, I put whiteout over it so I could try again (this would have changed the color of the ink around her mouth, making her look horrible) which made the decision for me.

And one more.  This next one is from Solace: Lost.

So there you have it.  I am continuing to work on finishing stories so that I can begin my publishing process, but sometimes there is just too much going on in my head or there is too much noise in the house.  Drawing seems to be a good alternative when my usual go-to things aren't helping.  Tai Chi and Mediation tend to leave me feeling sad these days (something I thought I was done with, go figure) and walking in the woods (there are so many people out walking and biking; and while I'm happy to see people enjoying being among the trees, it doesn't help me find the calming and peaceful energy) so I've had to get creative with a new way to quiet my mind.    

Hope you are all doing well and staying safe!  

Free unit next Thursday (4/9)

This is my friend's favorite book. She is currently quarantined away from her family to keep them safe because she is a nurse in the Covid19 ICU. So I decided in honor of her I would make the ebook free for a week. It's free everywhere except at Amazon (but only because I have to join their KDP Select in order to make books free, and their Select program means my books are exclusive to them), however, Smashwords.com does have it in kindle format. The links are below. Stay safe! 🥰

Apple: https://books.apple.com/us/book/solace-uncharted-territory/id528983146

Barnes&Nobles: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/solace-amanda-schmidt/1111399029?ean=2940033200177
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/solace-uncharted-territory
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/152083

Books for $2.99

In these interesting times, where we're stuck in our homes, the arts are a great escape: reading, writing, drawing, painting, coloring, playing music, listening to music, dancing... or whatever medium you feel in your heart and soul. 

To help with those of you who want to read a book, I have lowered the price of my books for the next month to $2.99 ($4.99 for "Darkness"). It's not a lot in royalties for me, but it's something I hope you can afford and will still help keep me and my family afloat. If I could afford to make my books free I would in a heartbeat. Unfortunately I have yet to be discovered in a big enough fashion. If you know of anyone else who likes to read stories that contain: action, adventure, twists and turns, love, heroes, vicious enemies, fighting (weapons and hand to hand combat), please share this post. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Here's where to find my books:

Amazon: amazon.com/author/amandaschmidt09

Apple: https://books.apple.com/us/artist/amanda-schmidt/478053737

Barnes&Nobles: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/c/amanda-schmidt

Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/Search/Query…

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/amandaschmidt

One last thing. If you enjoy my books, please rate and review so other people will take a chance on me. Thank you so much!! Stay safe and take care!  😊

🥰

Still writing... :)

I hope all of you are doing well, and are safe.  Figuring things out during all this has been a feat inside itself.  But I won't bore you with those trials and tribulations.  Instead this is what I've been doing to the best of my abilities.  With 6 people in a small home, quiet and not disturbed moments are fleeting.  But I have managed to:

Finish re-reading/revising Story 10 (which is 172,000 words), and it's safe to say it's going to get a bit longer... as expected. However, if feels really close to done. 

And Story 20 is finally a completed first draft which is 188,000 words (which translates into approximately 775 book pages.) So now I'm putting both of those aside for a bit before I dive back into them. 

I picked up Story 3 which is 157,000 words. This is actually the second book I started. (It's called story 3 because the sequel to Taken was Story two when I started this. I was at story five or six when I realized that I was titling them wrong. A story and it's sequels are still the same story. Luckily, I had forgotten to give a story a # cause I already had a title for it. So it sits in Story 2's slot.) Anyways. It seems to me that it was finished in a sense, but I there was more I wanted to write so the story wasn't done. I haven't looked at this story in quite a while so hopefully, i can bring it to a close and have it in my "ready for the editors so I can publish" pile.

I hope you're reading, writing, drawing, making music, listening to music, or whatever art soothes your soul.  Stay safe and take care!  😊  

Artwork of Sonia

My daughter was hogging my computer the few days ago, so I decided to try my hand at drawing.      I ended up sketching Sonia from "The Shadow Dragon".   I have to apologize for the dragon on her sword, I didn't do it justice because I am horrible at drawing dragons - which you can see.  Her head that I can see in my head is awesome. After I was happy with the sketch I decided it would be easier to see what I did if I colored it.   Not wanting to worry about if I didn't like it colored or  if I messed up while coloring, I photo copied my sketch and used pencils and pens to color it.  The next day I couldn't focus on my books so I took a picture of the sketch and uploaded it to my computer where I colored and gave it a background - this took me pretty much the whole day.  I do like the way it turned out minus the sword.  I again have a stupidly drawn dragon and the coloring isn't quite right, but other than that, I really like.  Hope you do too!    So here's my artwork:

Just an update

Just an update.  Over the last few weeks, I've been working on two books.  

I printed off Story 10, because this usually helps me look at the story with fresh eyes. So far, there have only been a few detail changes with wording and what have you. I'm about 3/4 of the way through the 173,500word story, and I'm really enjoying it. I'm almost to the parts that I have recently added/edited(heavily) so my happiness with this story could take a severe turn (I'm hoping not). This story has a title, but not a cover. One out of two isn't bad. 

I'm also working on Story 20. It was supposed to have come to end already. Only when I got to what I thought was going to be the end, one of the "not nice" people in the story decide that it wasn't the end. Which means the story is still growing.  I can kind of see where it's going, but things keep coming up - I'm not complaining, just informing. (Have I mentioned that I love writing.) So this story is currently 175,289words and growing.  

I can hear the echo of voices from a couple of other stories, but I hope they don't get louder just yet. 😉

A post on "What, Why, How"

I wrote a post for Linda K Sienkiewicz - Author of multi-award-winning novel In the Context of Love - on “what, why, how”. If your interested here’s the link: http://lindaksienkiewicz.com/what-why-how-amanda-schmidt/

Also, I am still working on Story 20 in my free time.  It's at 166,000 words, I am no longer sure how close to done it is, because as usual, more things have presented themselves and there's a few things I have to go back and clarify.  And of course there are other voices in my head getting louder: Story 15, Story 18, and story 25.  I want to get back to Story 17, Story 10, and Rise of Ansea Book 2 so I can officially begin the process to publishing them.  A busy real world life and a demand in my writer's world seems to be an ongoing and vicious cycle, which I am navigating the best I can.   If only there were more hours in the day, or I could function on less hours of sleep. 

Character interview - Nick(from Project 21)

I had the privilege of writing a couple of interviews for a blog (Library of Erana). The first one is already published. This interview is with Nick Etalo from "Project 21":

https://libraryoferana.wordpress.com/2020/02/22/dirty-dozen-character-interview-nicodemus-etalo-sci-fi/  


I hope you enjoy the read!

Update: As of January 31st

As you can imagine there's a lot going on in my writing world.

I've been obsessed with Story 20.  When I opened it was at 90,000 words.  I added 20,000 words, but ended up deleting 10,000 of them because it took me so long to realize I had taken the story down the wrong path.  Ugh.  Now it's at 145,000 with the ending almost completed.  However, as I'm re-reading it, I've realized I need to add another chapter near the beginning and another about a quarter of the way through - not to add more words, but to write a better picture.  I love the beginning of this story, and I want to get it out, but it just keeps growing.  I'm not really changing anything which normally means the section is done, but as I keep reading I feel as though I should go back and write more, something that doesn't happen very often when I actually like what's there.  (Have I ever mentioned how much I love writing?)

Story 17 was being read by a friend to make sure that it was a story worth working on.  And she loved it.  A few grammatical things (no surprise there), but she had no advice for the story itself.  This story had seemed completed the last time I read it, except that someone unexpected appeared near the end and now I have to write more.  I'm not sure if it will be another book or I will just extend the book.  However with the people in story 20 being so loud and clear, I haven't had the opportunity to work on this story since my friend gave it back to me.  Also, exciting news about Story 17, is that I have the base for the cover finished.  It's not quite right, but maybe after I come up with the title it will all fall into place!

Story 10 has a title, and is mostly finished!  It was finished until I realized what the title was and now there is a little bit more that needs to be written.  So once Story 20 has calmed down, I am going to re-read and polish up Story 10.  I have not come up with a cover for this story yet,  no surprise there, but having a title and mostly completed book I am hopeful that cover will make itself known when I re-read it.

I've also mostly completed Story 25.  I had been interrupted a lot while writing the ending so I'm not going to say its done, especially when in the back of my mind I don't think it is.  But it's pretty exciting to think that the skeleton of it is complete.  This story is lacking title and cover, but it will eventually come to me.

"Rise of Ansea" book 2 does have a title and the story is finished in that it has a beginning, middle, and end is written.  However it's really not long enough.  My mom read it and said she'd like to see more of Rot and Havoc, and I'd like to write more about a newer character, so as soon as I can focus on that I will have that story completed as well!  And believe it or not, I do have the cover idea figured out, I just have to make it happen!

And for those of you who may be wondering: whatever happened to The Huntsman's Daughter.   I have re-read it (made a lot of corrections), and now I just need time to go in and fix things.  I do love this story and I very much want it available for you to read again, but not in the state that it is at the moment.  If you didn't know this was my attempt at a true adult (Romance) story, which made it more difficult to find people to edit and get feedback for  - since I don't know a lot of people who read this genre.  So I am sorry about the issues on this one.

So that's what's going on in my writer's world.  My "real life" world is rather busy too, which makes for an interesting life.  One which I will not complain about, because I keep writing and am blessed to have three amazing kids.

If you enjoy my books, and would like to help me out, please rate and/or review my books, and encourage others to take a chance on me.  Thank you so much for reading my stories because I really do love writing them!

A video that has caused me to write more than I had expected... about me.

So I am sharing this video with you. It is of the dojo that I am a part of.  Just so you know, there is no footage of me - I apparently have a sixth sense when it comes to them recording things and have avoided being caught on camera. 😂   Why then would I post it?  Because when I first started this venture of writing, I knew nothing of Martial Arts.  But it definitely - somehow - had a hold on me.  You see it in my stories even though I was writing before I learned Tai Chi, so in hindsight I should have known that I would one day be in a Dojo.  Marital Arts teaches helps you become strong, independent, able to protect yourself...  These are all good qualities, qualities that the people in my books embody or work to become.  And I consider myself blessed to have happened upon the opportunity to learn Martial Arts.  Of course, it was my daughter who was part of the Dojo first.  I didn't even go in to watch her practice until she had a grappling tournament a month or so later, and even then I wasn't interested.  I even brought my laptop so that I'd have something to do.  However, I stopped bringing that with me within a week.  I was so impressed with what I was hearing from Sifu Donahue that I started paying more attention to what was going on.  Not only was I amazed at how powerful my daughter appeared on the mats, but I was also drawn in to what she was learning - not that I was ever going to take part in a class (life's funny that way).  I practiced Tai Chi, that was my speed, my balance to my life.  Or so I thought, I continued to go to the dojo and watch my daughter almost everyday of the week.  I used to tell people that it was my way of repaying her for all the times she had to watch the boys practice for their sports with me.  But honestly, I always watched her, which was unlike the sports any of my kids have tried out (minus wrestling).  In the dojo, occasionally, I talked with other parents, but I am not as extraverted as I once was and I didn't usually instigate conversations.   But even when I did, still I watched her.  I practiced in the backyard with her, she used to love teaching me things, and honestly I loved it.  Then came the day that I stepped on the mats.  I had no idea how big of an impact it was going to have on me, I just knew I was super excited to be there.  This dojo has two school on in Michigan and they don't just teach a fighting style, they also teach the Yang style Tai Chi (which wasn't the one I've been practicing), and meditation.  One of my favorite things that is said is said before Meditation:

 Mokuto (Japanese for close eyes/reflect):

Concentrate on the point between the eyebrows

Relax and watch the breath

Let go of all thoughts, worries, cares

Be here now

Meditation is the foundation of all true martial arts

To still, and thus control the mind, is of the utmost importance 

The last 3 lines are like a warm blanket every time I hear them.  Between learning the skills to protect and strengthen myself, I began to realize how I had allowed myself to be imprisoned by the things that made me feel broken.  Mediation was a huge factor in this.   I am still a long ways off from being mended, but at least I have a sanctuary that allows me to build strength to believe in myself.  Writing has done such wonders for how I feel about myself, now tie that in with the positive energy of the dojo, Sifu, plus the education of how to practice controlling both my actions and my mind, and now I am becoming someone I can be proud of again.  The battles against my "failures" - the darkness that makes me not able to see my strengths -  has been the hardest I've come against, which is probably why I write what I write...   Anyways, here's a video that the dojo put together:

(https://www.zenmartialarts.com)

Just a couple of other things that I have heard in the Dojo that helped me decide this was the right place to be. Some words that stay with me on the days I am not in the dojo - and that cause me to practice on those days.

Better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war.

And then there is the Wushu Creed (which the kids recite):

Kung Fu is a discipline 

of my body and mind.

I will be disciplined,

have self-control,
confidence,
concentration
patience,

and try as hard as I can
at everything I do

both in and outside the Dojo.